The noble art of inebriation

We all like to drink now and then - in fact, I'm pretty drunk right now as I'm typing this and although I would obviously like this blog to be viewed with some respect and sensibility, I can't really help the fact that I like to consume an alcoholic beverage every now and then. It is mostly for these reasons that I am actually posting at this time and I hope that my alcohol filled self will still make sense as I begin to type this post proper.

3 reasons I'm drunk right now (that involve more complicated answers than 'Because I want to be')

3. Handing in assignments makes alcohol consumption acceptable and necessarySo this morning I handed in a psychology assignment that I had been working on for the better half of two weeks. While this may not seem like much for a university assignment, i approximate that this was actually one of the hardest pieces of work that I've ever had to do. And not only because for most of it I literally didn't have a clue what the fuck I was doing. 
Handing in a piece of work always merits such a celebration and although I was pretty much forced to come out tonight, I was in that kind of mind frame that told me I deserved to get absolutely smashed, because I had completed the work that really I should have done weeks ago. In fact I probably shouldn't be celebrating at all but to be honest I haven't done much else that's warranted praise recently and I thought maybe I could get away with it becuase I'm a good guy.

2. The bottom of a bottle has never seemed so homely
The old addage has always dicateted 'you will never find happiness at the bottom of a bottle.' Well what if I was never trying to find happiness in the first place. What if I was simply trying to find a place to escape from the worries and complications of real life by getting royally fucked? Obviously that is the statement of a cold hard alcoholic but never fear, I was never raised to believe such things and I'm not going to start now. Honestly, though, you can't deny that going out with friends and having a few drinks at the pub or a club does very much help tale your mind off things. Especially when these things threaten to consume you and every fibre of your being. I can say without a shadow of a doubt right now that I didn't only get drunk tonight in order to forget some things and make things easier - number one, that'd be taking the easy way out (and I've never been one to take the easy way out - not by choice but through simple poor decision making) - but by temporarily numbing those feelings of sadness or guilt that one feels every now and then for whatever reason, and replacing them with that numb feeling you generally get when you've drunk too much.

1. Everyone else is doing it
I'd be lying if I said that I've never been jealous of drunk people when I'm perfectly sober. Even if I didn't drink at all I think I'd feel a little bitter if everyone around me was getting absolutely rat-arsed without me, and it's no surprise; drinking releases a while range of hormones in the body - arenaline, endorphines etc which make getting drunk absolutely irresistable to everyone; even those who don't perticularly want to. Ordinarily I might consier myself an exception to the rule - I'd like to think that I don't need alcohol to have a good time and that all it takes for a good night out is the right company and a nice amount of good music to listen to, but in reality it really does kill me when everyone else around is drinking like there's no tomorrow, and I don't have the stamina or the money to join them.
There's something about being sober around drunk people that makes the whole thing slightly uncomfortable. A conversation about underwear or carrots might usually be completely normal for a drunken night out, but suddenly you find yourself sober and all of these conversations seem completely irralevant and completely idiotic.


Especially after you realise your mate has set your kitchen on fire and fallen out of a window.