I decided to clean my room yesterday. As in properly, to a ridiculous degree. As in organising every single one of my shelves and alphabetising my DVDs. Yes that's right, I suddenly found myself getting a little bit OCD. At the end of it all, I looked around and realised that despite my organising and tidying, my room was still filled with shit I really don't need, and don't think I ever will need. Why do I keep all this useless stuff? Because I'm a self-proclaimed hoarder, that's why.
5 useless things I still can't bring myself to throw away
5.The box that my aftershave came in
So this would be fair enough (kind of) if I actually kept the aftershave in the box when I wasn't using it. But I don't. I keep this box on my shelf for no other reason than that someday in the distant future I may be called upon for some ridiculous reason and of course it'll be imperitive that I kept it.
Why the fuck has it not been thrown out?
I think I'm a bit like a magpie in the fact that I am drawn to nice looking things, no matter how useless they might be. The box is really nothing special (it's, errm, just a box) but there's just something about it that I really like. Maybe it's the outer sleeve that is removed to reveal the inner box whose design perfectly replicates that of the aftershave bottle? Fuck knows. But it's obvious that I'm not gonna get anything at all from keeping it. Especially since all the writing is in French. Oh but I did learn that 125ml is the equivalent of 4.2 fluid ounces. Which, you never know, may come in handy.
4. Broken Pens
Thousands upon thousands of broken pens lie untouched in my desk draw right now. And I know for a fact they are broken; I tested each and every one of them when I was cleaning my room. I put the working ones in the little pen holder on my desk, and the broken ones went straight back into my fucking draw.
Why the fuck has it not been thrown out?
Apparently part of me believes that these pens have some juice left in them and one day when all my other pens have been lost (it happens surprisingly often) I will be routing around in my draw and find a broken one which suddenly, as if by magic, will start working again. This is of course assuming that I actually remember that they were broken in the first place. Honestly I'll put pens somewhere and keep going back to them forgetting that literally minutes before I discovered they were broken. I guess I'm just a little bit too much of an optimist for my own good. Like a child who thinks their goldfish is just sleeping.
That or when the zombie apocolypse happens at least I'll have a few pointy objects to ward them off with.
3. Pieces of paper with nothing other than scribblings or pointless doodles
I almost (it's not quite full. Yet) have an entire draw dedicated to this. There's something about old doodles and spolied lecture notes that is quite nostalgic, but the reality of it is that I'm never going to need this paper ever again.
Why the fuck has it not been thrown out?
I can only imagine that oneday I'll be laughing and joking with old friends about fun times back at uni, and then someone will say 'Oh hey, remember that amazing picture I drew of the lecturer with the fucking massive mole?' and I'll jump and exclaim 'I STILL HAVE IT SOMEWHERE' with some sense of pride.
Then I'll go rummaging around in my special draw while my friends look on in embarrased astonishment and then it'll turn out that the doodle in question really isn't that great, and probably better of preserved in our memories.
2. Plastic bags
Again, I pretty much have a draw completely dedicated to a whole range of plastic and paper bags. Muji, Primark, Zara, Sainsbury's, Waitrose, Ikea - you name it and it's sitting there in bag form in my draw collecting dust and will probably never see the light of day.
Why the fuck has it not been thrown out?
I think originally I was planning on going green and saving the planet by keeping all these bags for when I go shopping. Then I realised that whenever I go shopping I walk, and walking down to tescos with a handful of plastic bags just looks a little odd to be honest. Also it's not just the flimsy little ones I keep, but the big sturdy ones which actually do come in handy every now and then for taking washing down in or some other arbitrary requirement. What really stumps me is why I keep paper bags. There's one from Abercrombie and Fitch in my room at home which i got when I went to california like 4 years ago. I guess I kept that one for American souvenir nostalgia, but that really doesn't explain the 5 or 6 primark paper bags folded neatly in this little draw of mine.
1. Almost every single free thing I got at Freshers Fair
Freshers fair was great; the amount of free stuff I got was insane. Things like inflatable football, frisbees, pens (which are sitting broken in my draw) and mountains of paper. This was about 5 months ago now, and I still have nearly all of it dotted around my room.
Why the fuck hasn't it been thrown out?
Ok you know tose frisbees I mentioned early? I have 3 of them. Two are exactly the same advertising some housing company or other, and the third is a shitty little fabric one that folds up into a little case. Keeping one would be perfectly understandable - frisbeeing is great fun in the summer - but come on, three? That's just mental, yet I still cannot bring myself to throw at least one of them out.
I mean at the very least I could give them to someone else. But no. Three frisbees for me.
Oh I also have schedules of activities that went on in freshers week and therefore are completely redundant and stupid. And yup, they too are sitting in my draw.
Oh and even after I've posted this, I'm still not gonna do anything about it. That just doesn't happen with me.
Tuesday 23 February 2010
Saturday 20 February 2010
The noble art of music hoarding 10:13
So over literally the past like, 2 days I've downloaded and been recommended so much music by various people. And because of it I'm feeling pretty fantastic right now. I felt myself getting into a little rut in terms of music a little while back. But now the magic is back and I'm loving music more than ever. At the risk of boring everyone out of their skulls, I'll just give you an idea of what I've downloaded recently. Let me know if you need download links.
Yeasayer - Odd Blood
Yeasayer - Odd BloodKiss Kiss - The Optimist vs. Reality
Bibio - The Apple and the Tooth
The Drums - The Drums EP
The xx - xx
Cut Copy - Bright like Neon Love
And I very much enjoy every single one of them. Despite the fact that the genres and styles range ridiculous amounts.
Oh did I also mention that I've been having a lot of fun recently finding dubstep mixes of loads of amazing tracks. This dubstep mix of Bat for Lashe's song Daniel, for instance makes me feel like going raving.
The noble art of overhaul 09:52
Ok so I've noticed that this blog is really going nowhere fast. In the spirit of trying desperately not to let this turn into my previous failed attempts, I'm having a bit of a paradigm shift.
Expect far more random and crazy shit, with the occassional oppurtunity to laugh at someone on youtube. You all know you want this.
Expect far more random and crazy shit, with the occassional oppurtunity to laugh at someone on youtube. You all know you want this.
Oh and one more thing, I apologise right now for any nonsense that may appear. It's just my general mood, tbh.
Monday 1 February 2010
The noble art of psychological insanity 07:24
Most people, when hearing talk of psyhology, immediatly think of people lying on couches expressing their deepest darkest emotions and a psychiatrist sitting next to them spewing nonsense about them either hating their fathers, or wishing to have sex with him. Such stereotypes are all thanks to Freud, the man who suggested that every single thought or action is ultimately about sex.
As crazy as this may seem, Freud is not the only complete mentalist in the psychology world, and there are various studies out there to prove it.
4 Ridiculous and unethical psycological studies (that make Freud look normal)
4. Dennis R. Middlemist hides in a toilet
What was the point?
It is a commonly known fact among men that, when sandwiched between two other guys at a urinal, it becomes suddenly impossible to actually perform. No one really knows why. Some put it down to that self concious thought that every man in the room want to stare at your penis, but mostly it's just dismissed as 'shy bladder' syndrome. Well one man took it upon himself to study the effects of close proximity of fellow urinal users, and performance in said act. He believed that the closer one is to another man while using a urinal, the longer one will spend at the urinal due to physiological arousal tightening muscles and making it more difficult to piss.
Where it all went wrong
There really is no easy, plausible, even sane way to test this, but Middlemist decided that rather than even attempt something far more simple, he would hide in a toilet cubicle and watch men at the urinals using a periscope and time how long it took them to piss. Now of course this is pretty fucked up, but it gets worse when we find out that he actually hired confederates to occupy the urinals to either side of the man being studied, pretty much forcing this physiological arounsal that wouldn't allow him to take a piss. Now some could argue that because each man being study didn't know he was being studied, then there's really no harm done. But really, when you're watching a man pissing at a urinal through a fucking periscope, that's bordering on illegal, right?
3. Philip G. Zimbardo lets all hell break loose in a prison
What was the point?
When you were younger did you ever dress up as a super hero and think from then on that you really could fight crime like Batman, or fly like superman? Well it's not just kids that feel this miraculous transformation when they put on a costume. What Zimbardo set out to study was to what extent people would consider their own power and authority when put in a uniform? By putting on a uniform, he theorised that people would immediatly feel as though they had the authority that the uniform implied. While seemingly cute and obvious that a kid feels like a superhero when dressed like Batman, discovering that a man dressed as a policeman genuinely believes he can do whatever the fuck he wants is pretty incredible.
Where it all went wrong
Zimbardo reasoned that the best way to study these theories was to dress a load of people up like prison guards and inmates and just let them get on with it. He guessed that the guards would feel absolute power over the inmates because of the uniform they were wearing and the fact that they were told nothing they did would get them in trouble. And he was right: The guards - even those who may have been introverts or shy before the experiment - were extremely forceful towards the inmates and took thorough advantage of the power granted to them by the uniform. What Zimbardo didn't guess was that things got pretty nasty pretty quickly. Physical beatings were common, as well as the 'guards' totally abusing their power in the cruel and abusive way they were treating the inmates. The study was cancelled after just 6 days purely because researchers were seriously worried someone was about to get killed.
I mean really, you sign up for a psychological study and before you know it you've got a black eye and sleeping in your own piss in a crowded jail cell. It's a wonder this thing even lasted 6 days.
2. Stanley Milgram made people electrecute strangers
What was the point?
Obedience to authority is extremely common pretty much everywhere you look. Teachers, parents, even just people older than you, demand some form of respect and obedience, and generally we comply for fear of being punished. There are a great number of psychological studies that suggest we will do what ever it takes not to be punished. On the flip side, however, it's also been shown that when responsibility of an act is completely taken away, people are willing to do some pretty horrific stuff. Soldiers are the perfect example: Armed with the knowledge that they won't be thrown in jail for murder, they will have no problem killing as many people as they can. Milgram set out to study the exten people will go to obey authority when responsibility is removed.
Where it all went wrong
The man made people sit in a room and deliver electric shocks to people they didn't know and couldn't even see for getting questions wrong. This is crazy enough to begin with, but when we think that a) the strongest shock was 400 volts - enough to kill a human, and b) about 60% of participants had no problem going all the way up there, purely because the researcher told them that they weren't to blame for anything that happened. Ok so fair enough these people weren't actually shocking randomers, but they genuinely believed that they were. Imagine you were sat in a chair and tol you couldn't leave until you had practically electrecuted a complete stranger. 'Oh but it's okay' you might say, 'even if i kill this person i won't get in trouble! Let's fry this bitch'
Really makes you feel good about humanity, huh?
1. Psychologists cure homosexuality with pain
What was the point?
In the 60s, homosexuality in America was pretty badly frowned upon. In fact, until the 1980s is was listed as a mental disorder. Good going America. But because it was a mental disorder, and not any of the sensible explanations that we have today, psychologists believed they could cure it. So thinking about this logically, how could you go about teaching people that thinking about people of the same sex in a sexual way was evil? That's easy, torture those blasphemous feelings out of them!
Where it all went wrong
These people thought it'd be a good idea to use a common theory learning by association to scare people into forgetting all those homosexual tendencies that dwelled like a cancer inside them. And how did they do this? Showing people pornographic images of homosexuals whilst similtaneously injecting them with drugs that make them violently ill of electrecuting them, in an attempt to force them to associate homosexual images with pain and revulsion. Needless to say these 'treatments' worked nothing like they were supposed to. Learning by association is pretty much only applicable to children or people with serious phobias or mental disorders. And since it became pretty clear about 20 years later that homosexuality is, in fact, not a mental illness, all this really did to them was fuck them up. Many people came out of this experience left with some form of post traumatic stress disorder and in one case, someone actually died after basically vomiting their lungs out. Again, well done America.
As crazy as this may seem, Freud is not the only complete mentalist in the psychology world, and there are various studies out there to prove it.
4 Ridiculous and unethical psycological studies (that make Freud look normal)
4. Dennis R. Middlemist hides in a toilet
What was the point?
It is a commonly known fact among men that, when sandwiched between two other guys at a urinal, it becomes suddenly impossible to actually perform. No one really knows why. Some put it down to that self concious thought that every man in the room want to stare at your penis, but mostly it's just dismissed as 'shy bladder' syndrome. Well one man took it upon himself to study the effects of close proximity of fellow urinal users, and performance in said act. He believed that the closer one is to another man while using a urinal, the longer one will spend at the urinal due to physiological arousal tightening muscles and making it more difficult to piss.
Where it all went wrong
There really is no easy, plausible, even sane way to test this, but Middlemist decided that rather than even attempt something far more simple, he would hide in a toilet cubicle and watch men at the urinals using a periscope and time how long it took them to piss. Now of course this is pretty fucked up, but it gets worse when we find out that he actually hired confederates to occupy the urinals to either side of the man being studied, pretty much forcing this physiological arounsal that wouldn't allow him to take a piss. Now some could argue that because each man being study didn't know he was being studied, then there's really no harm done. But really, when you're watching a man pissing at a urinal through a fucking periscope, that's bordering on illegal, right?
3. Philip G. Zimbardo lets all hell break loose in a prison
What was the point?
When you were younger did you ever dress up as a super hero and think from then on that you really could fight crime like Batman, or fly like superman? Well it's not just kids that feel this miraculous transformation when they put on a costume. What Zimbardo set out to study was to what extent people would consider their own power and authority when put in a uniform? By putting on a uniform, he theorised that people would immediatly feel as though they had the authority that the uniform implied. While seemingly cute and obvious that a kid feels like a superhero when dressed like Batman, discovering that a man dressed as a policeman genuinely believes he can do whatever the fuck he wants is pretty incredible.
Where it all went wrong
Zimbardo reasoned that the best way to study these theories was to dress a load of people up like prison guards and inmates and just let them get on with it. He guessed that the guards would feel absolute power over the inmates because of the uniform they were wearing and the fact that they were told nothing they did would get them in trouble. And he was right: The guards - even those who may have been introverts or shy before the experiment - were extremely forceful towards the inmates and took thorough advantage of the power granted to them by the uniform. What Zimbardo didn't guess was that things got pretty nasty pretty quickly. Physical beatings were common, as well as the 'guards' totally abusing their power in the cruel and abusive way they were treating the inmates. The study was cancelled after just 6 days purely because researchers were seriously worried someone was about to get killed.
I mean really, you sign up for a psychological study and before you know it you've got a black eye and sleeping in your own piss in a crowded jail cell. It's a wonder this thing even lasted 6 days.
2. Stanley Milgram made people electrecute strangers
What was the point?
Obedience to authority is extremely common pretty much everywhere you look. Teachers, parents, even just people older than you, demand some form of respect and obedience, and generally we comply for fear of being punished. There are a great number of psychological studies that suggest we will do what ever it takes not to be punished. On the flip side, however, it's also been shown that when responsibility of an act is completely taken away, people are willing to do some pretty horrific stuff. Soldiers are the perfect example: Armed with the knowledge that they won't be thrown in jail for murder, they will have no problem killing as many people as they can. Milgram set out to study the exten people will go to obey authority when responsibility is removed.
Where it all went wrong
The man made people sit in a room and deliver electric shocks to people they didn't know and couldn't even see for getting questions wrong. This is crazy enough to begin with, but when we think that a) the strongest shock was 400 volts - enough to kill a human, and b) about 60% of participants had no problem going all the way up there, purely because the researcher told them that they weren't to blame for anything that happened. Ok so fair enough these people weren't actually shocking randomers, but they genuinely believed that they were. Imagine you were sat in a chair and tol you couldn't leave until you had practically electrecuted a complete stranger. 'Oh but it's okay' you might say, 'even if i kill this person i won't get in trouble! Let's fry this bitch'
Really makes you feel good about humanity, huh?
1. Psychologists cure homosexuality with pain
What was the point?
In the 60s, homosexuality in America was pretty badly frowned upon. In fact, until the 1980s is was listed as a mental disorder. Good going America. But because it was a mental disorder, and not any of the sensible explanations that we have today, psychologists believed they could cure it. So thinking about this logically, how could you go about teaching people that thinking about people of the same sex in a sexual way was evil? That's easy, torture those blasphemous feelings out of them!
Where it all went wrong
These people thought it'd be a good idea to use a common theory learning by association to scare people into forgetting all those homosexual tendencies that dwelled like a cancer inside them. And how did they do this? Showing people pornographic images of homosexuals whilst similtaneously injecting them with drugs that make them violently ill of electrecuting them, in an attempt to force them to associate homosexual images with pain and revulsion. Needless to say these 'treatments' worked nothing like they were supposed to. Learning by association is pretty much only applicable to children or people with serious phobias or mental disorders. And since it became pretty clear about 20 years later that homosexuality is, in fact, not a mental illness, all this really did to them was fuck them up. Many people came out of this experience left with some form of post traumatic stress disorder and in one case, someone actually died after basically vomiting their lungs out. Again, well done America.
Wednesday 27 January 2010
The noble art of childish fun 06:51
Being a kid in the 90s was amazing. Between Pokemon cards and Dangermouse, there was so many amazing playful distractions that your parents threw at you by the bucketload to get you off their back for half an hour. In the spirit of restrospection and reminiscence, We're taking a look at the things that really made childhood special, and unbelievably fun, without getting bogged down by orgasmic love for lego that has become a cliche in the toy world since, well, forever.
6 Amazing children's toys (that aren't Lego)
6. Stickle Bricks
These things were similar to Lego in that you stuck them together and built things with them. The only problem was that they were frustratingly unlike lego in that they didn't stick very well, and when they did, the finished constructed product usually looked unbelievably terrible.
That said these things were really fun to play with, and treading on them in the middle of the night wasn't nearly as painful as lego. Jesus christ that stuff was nasty.
5. Pogs
Becasue seriously, when you're 7 years old, is there anything more fun than throwing things at other things in a bid to steal said things from your defeated, weeping opponent? The answer is a resounding no. The best thing about Pogs was that as well as a really badass game, these things made great collectables. With countless limited editions, and special shinies to collect, this was more of a way of life than a children's game, and encouraged competitive behaviour like you wouldn't believe.
4. Scalextric
As well as loving to smash things up as children, we also thoroughly enjoyed racing cars at incredibly high speeds around a relatively boring circular track. When Scalextric came around it did something that far surpassed Matchbox and their mini cars that were pretty terrible in comparison, and combined racing things with smashing things. I know for a fact that this thing changed my life for the better and memories of finally managing to navigate that goddamn loop with the car falling to a disastrous death make me all warm and fuzzy inside. Also if there was ever a childrens toy that got your Dad just as excited as you, then this is it.
3. Marble Run
I'm not entirely sure that any of you will remember this, or if you do, why this piece of plastic crap is featuring on a list of amazing chldren's toys. And the reason for this is that it kind of fulfilled every single criteria for mental and educational stimulation for kids. And it was really good fun. Using only a few pieces of plastic and some marbles, this toy managed to teach kids about construction and physics, adding quite a challenging puzzle element for kids of that 5 years old target audience. You had to think pretty carefully about where to position each piece so that the marble wouldn't become stuck and a pretty good knowledge of the way gravity works to actually get the marble to reach the bottom. Eduational, fun, and retina-smoulderingly colourful. What more could you ask for.
2. Transformers
Before Transformers was made popular again by the recent movies and animated cartoons, the franchise consisted solely of a lonely little comic and series of action figures. The reason that kids love magic is because a lit of it essentially involves one thing turning into another, and the creaters of the Transformers did a wonderful job in exploiting that love of magic in children with their robots that turned into all sorts of cars, trucks, and sometimes even robotic animals. I still have an old version of Optimus Prime that turned into a truck and I do still play with it every now and then because I still love to think that my little green Peugot 106 may one day turn into a crime fighting robot. Although if it did, I'm pretty sure it wouldn't work very well, and be very slightly retarded.
1. Mighty Max
I'm pretty sure this was my favourite toy of all time as a child. Kind of like a little boy's version of Polly Pocket, but with more Indiana Jones style awesomness and terrifying creatures. Nobody really knew what to do with these toys other than pretty much rip them apart. I remember I has one with some weird little fish things whos heads, arms and tails you could rip off, for reasons that weren't immediatly apparent to my 9 year old brain. The fact that you could buy little Max in hundreds of different poses and expressions meant that you could also have a lot of fun just pretending the reason he wss stuck in the fire mountain was because some evil being had cloned him 700 times and then proceed to pull each one of their heads off.
How the hell did they make an animated series about this thing?
6 Amazing children's toys (that aren't Lego)
6. Stickle Bricks
5. Pogs
4. Scalextric
3. Marble Run
2. Transformers
1. Mighty Max
How the hell did they make an animated series about this thing?
Thursday 21 January 2010
The noble art of musical review 06:06
Music has always been a massive thing in my life. Like, seriously big. Recently I've been all over the place with my musical tastes and purchases but I've realised that that is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, I take pride in my range of music tastes and collection of random shit. Recently I've actually been buying a lot of music rather than just downloading it illegally (mostly because the uni network doesn't allow access to file sharing sites) so I thought I'd give a little insight into my current world of music.
7. Fyfe Dangerfield - Fly Yellow Moon
Despite having the single greatest name of all time (except maybe Happy Adjustable Spanners) this is the lead singer from the band The Guillemots, who I absolutely love. Their first album Through the Window Pane took me so long to get into, and for months I kind of hated it. Then one day I took another listen and suddenly something clicked and ever since they've been one of my favourite bands. So naturally when I heard that their lead singer was starting a solo career, I got really excited.
To be honest, I haven't given this album too many listens yet, but what I've got from it so far is good. It's very similar in style to The Guillemots music, but with a hint of something a little odd. In a way it sounds very amateur - a little unpracticed at parts, with melodies and rythms not quite seeming up to scratch - but then you realise actually this is what this guy is about. Extremely off beat and sometimes very weird, this is an experimental first album that really does show personality and an individual style that I actually really like.
6. Passion Pit - Chunk of Change
I fucking love Passion Pit. I found them originally through my old blog 'Something of an End' and I'm so happy that I did. Their debut album Manners is an eclectic, bright, happy, fun and just downright enjoyable record from start to finish. Honeslty there is not one song in the entire album that will not make you want to get up and celebrate life.
Chunk of Change is an EP consisting of only 6 songs that lie somewhere between recording and the final production. All of these songs sound unpolished and unfinished, but actually that's not a bad thing. The lead singer of the band originally wrote these songs for his girlfriend at the time, and knowing that, I'm kind of glad these songs aren't completely perfect. There's something about a love songs that requires that raw feeling and emotion and doesn't need to rely on perfect production to be appreciated. That said a couple of these tracks aren't all that great, I'm not gonna lie. In fact if I had bought this EP before their full album, I'd probably hate them. But knowing they're an amazing band, then listening to a kind of stripped down version of their music is actually really nice.
5. Mew - No More Stories Are Told Today, I'm Sorry They Washed Away, No More Stories the World is Grey, I'm Tired Let's Wash Away
Despite the really fucking long title and creepy album art, this is a great album. I have no idea how I first heard of this band - they just suddenly turned up on my computer, but I'm glad they did. The album I had was called Frengers and was a really nice mix of rock/pop/electronica and all kinds of styles. They have a real knack for slow dreamy melodies in some tracks, then lively upbeat rythms with really memorable melodies. I absolutely adore that album so I thought I'd give their 2009 release a try.
The nice thing about this album is that they're trying out new styles without changing too radically and keeping a lot of what made them so great in previous albums. This album is definately more quick paced than Frengers - there are only a couple of songs on this album that have that nice, slow feel - but that is definately not a bad thing. It's good to pick up the pace a bit from time to time.
4. Owl City - Ocean Eyes
A while ago the video for their debut single Fireflies was circulating the internet like god knows what, so of course I gave it a listen and fell in love. There's a certain childlike innocence to that track that is so refreshing in music these days. It's kind of the musical equivalent a toddler. Bad metaphor but there you go. With lines like 'I'd get a thousand hugs from ten thousand lightning bugs' what do you expect.
The album continues this childish fun and is filled with cute little synth melodies and sing songy lyrics that, while maybe not the best in the world, are certainly pretty fun: 'Alcohol and golf don't mix, that's why I don't drink and drive' Occassionally they can be annoying with this, but mostly you just have to take this album as fun and lively, with that innocence that is pretty much unheard of on music these days.
3. Daniel Merriweather - Love and War
Ok so I actually bought this a while ago now, but since it's sitting right here in front of me with all these other CDs, I might as well give this a go. I first heard of Daniel Merriweather when he did that cover of 'Don't Stop Me' with Mark Ronson, which I really really liked but pretty much forgot about him because as far as I knew he didn't have any other music out. Then a few months later I heard the debut single from this album 'Red' and again, I loved it. So I thought what the hell and bought the album. It's quite a nice mix of various elements of r+b, pop, rock and jazz and it fits together really well. A couple of tracks are pretty self righteous and sometimes he annoys me with lyrics, but mostly this is a pretty solid album. His voice and style suit both the slow, more soulful tracks and the upbeat ones pretty equally, which is always nice to know and means that most tracks sound polished and natural, because in my experience artists often force themselves to sound deep and soulful and it really doesn't work
2. Muse - The Resistance
There has been very many varying opinions on this album. Some people consider it Muse's next masterpiece and are praising every fibre of its being. Other think actually this is a poor release from an otherwise fantastic band. I'm kind of sitting on the fence with this one. I was very late to the Muse party, and got into them far later than everyone else so I've spent the last couple of years catching up. And I do love this band. Now in my opinion this album is split into two halves. The first 6 songs are pure, unadulterated Muse gold. Afterward though things start to get a little weird. While I appreciate that three part symphony at the end of the album really fantastic musically, it just doesn't seem to fit with the rest of the album. If they had released an entire album of that kind of material, I think it would have been incredibly well recieved, since it's not unusual for Muse to go all artsy and instrumental. However the beginning tracks set the album up as a solid rock piece and the transition from that to symphony is a little too abrupt for me. Still I generally do really like this album. And Undisclosed Desires will always be an amazing song.
1. Noisettes - Wild Young Hearts
I was seriously shocked when I bought the Noisettes debut album a few months ago. Because jesus christ that album is incredible. I kind of dismissed them as another generic indie band when people first started noticing them but what really makes them stand out from the croud is their lead singer. Because man, can she sing. With an incredible voice like that it's no wonder they garnered so much attention. I therefore leapt straight for the second album when it was released, and despite quite a change from the debut, I really like it.
What I didn't realise was that the title song Wild Young Hearts was used in that yoghurt advert a while ago. I always like the song but had no idea who it was by until buying this album and that made me happy. The next single Don't Upset the Rythm is again incredible and a really good song to get you in the mood for partying. The rest of the album again is really strong, but they seem to have deviated from the hard hitting, totally upbeat style of the first album. Not a bad thing but sometimes I wish there were more songs like Don't Upset the Rythm on there.
7 recent CD purchases (and why I enjoy them)
7. Fyfe Dangerfield - Fly Yellow Moon
To be honest, I haven't given this album too many listens yet, but what I've got from it so far is good. It's very similar in style to The Guillemots music, but with a hint of something a little odd. In a way it sounds very amateur - a little unpracticed at parts, with melodies and rythms not quite seeming up to scratch - but then you realise actually this is what this guy is about. Extremely off beat and sometimes very weird, this is an experimental first album that really does show personality and an individual style that I actually really like.
6. Passion Pit - Chunk of Change
Chunk of Change is an EP consisting of only 6 songs that lie somewhere between recording and the final production. All of these songs sound unpolished and unfinished, but actually that's not a bad thing. The lead singer of the band originally wrote these songs for his girlfriend at the time, and knowing that, I'm kind of glad these songs aren't completely perfect. There's something about a love songs that requires that raw feeling and emotion and doesn't need to rely on perfect production to be appreciated. That said a couple of these tracks aren't all that great, I'm not gonna lie. In fact if I had bought this EP before their full album, I'd probably hate them. But knowing they're an amazing band, then listening to a kind of stripped down version of their music is actually really nice.
5. Mew - No More Stories Are Told Today, I'm Sorry They Washed Away, No More Stories the World is Grey, I'm Tired Let's Wash Away
The nice thing about this album is that they're trying out new styles without changing too radically and keeping a lot of what made them so great in previous albums. This album is definately more quick paced than Frengers - there are only a couple of songs on this album that have that nice, slow feel - but that is definately not a bad thing. It's good to pick up the pace a bit from time to time.
4. Owl City - Ocean Eyes
The album continues this childish fun and is filled with cute little synth melodies and sing songy lyrics that, while maybe not the best in the world, are certainly pretty fun: 'Alcohol and golf don't mix, that's why I don't drink and drive' Occassionally they can be annoying with this, but mostly you just have to take this album as fun and lively, with that innocence that is pretty much unheard of on music these days.
3. Daniel Merriweather - Love and War
2. Muse - The Resistance
1. Noisettes - Wild Young Hearts
What I didn't realise was that the title song Wild Young Hearts was used in that yoghurt advert a while ago. I always like the song but had no idea who it was by until buying this album and that made me happy. The next single Don't Upset the Rythm is again incredible and a really good song to get you in the mood for partying. The rest of the album again is really strong, but they seem to have deviated from the hard hitting, totally upbeat style of the first album. Not a bad thing but sometimes I wish there were more songs like Don't Upset the Rythm on there.
Tuesday 19 January 2010
Monday 18 January 2010
The noble art of inebriation 18:08
We all like to drink now and then - in fact, I'm pretty drunk right now as I'm typing this and although I would obviously like this blog to be viewed with some respect and sensibility, I can't really help the fact that I like to consume an alcoholic beverage every now and then. It is mostly for these reasons that I am actually posting at this time and I hope that my alcohol filled self will still make sense as I begin to type this post proper.
3. Handing in assignments makes alcohol consumption acceptable and necessarySo this morning I handed in a psychology assignment that I had been working on for the better half of two weeks. While this may not seem like much for a university assignment, i approximate that this was actually one of the hardest pieces of work that I've ever had to do. And not only because for most of it I literally didn't have a clue what the fuck I was doing.
Handing in a piece of work always merits such a celebration and although I was pretty much forced to come out tonight, I was in that kind of mind frame that told me I deserved to get absolutely smashed, because I had completed the work that really I should have done weeks ago. In fact I probably shouldn't be celebrating at all but to be honest I haven't done much else that's warranted praise recently and I thought maybe I could get away with it becuase I'm a good guy.
2. The bottom of a bottle has never seemed so homely
The old addage has always dicateted 'you will never find happiness at the bottom of a bottle.' Well what if I was never trying to find happiness in the first place. What if I was simply trying to find a place to escape from the worries and complications of real life by getting royally fucked? Obviously that is the statement of a cold hard alcoholic but never fear, I was never raised to believe such things and I'm not going to start now. Honestly, though, you can't deny that going out with friends and having a few drinks at the pub or a club does very much help tale your mind off things. Especially when these things threaten to consume you and every fibre of your being. I can say without a shadow of a doubt right now that I didn't only get drunk tonight in order to forget some things and make things easier - number one, that'd be taking the easy way out (and I've never been one to take the easy way out - not by choice but through simple poor decision making) - but by temporarily numbing those feelings of sadness or guilt that one feels every now and then for whatever reason, and replacing them with that numb feeling you generally get when you've drunk too much.
1. Everyone else is doing it
I'd be lying if I said that I've never been jealous of drunk people when I'm perfectly sober. Even if I didn't drink at all I think I'd feel a little bitter if everyone around me was getting absolutely rat-arsed without me, and it's no surprise; drinking releases a while range of hormones in the body - arenaline, endorphines etc which make getting drunk absolutely irresistable to everyone; even those who don't perticularly want to. Ordinarily I might consier myself an exception to the rule - I'd like to think that I don't need alcohol to have a good time and that all it takes for a good night out is the right company and a nice amount of good music to listen to, but in reality it really does kill me when everyone else around is drinking like there's no tomorrow, and I don't have the stamina or the money to join them.
There's something about being sober around drunk people that makes the whole thing slightly uncomfortable. A conversation about underwear or carrots might usually be completely normal for a drunken night out, but suddenly you find yourself sober and all of these conversations seem completely irralevant and completely idiotic.
Especially after you realise your mate has set your kitchen on fire and fallen out of a window.
3 reasons I'm drunk right now (that involve more complicated answers than 'Because I want to be')
3. Handing in assignments makes alcohol consumption acceptable and necessarySo this morning I handed in a psychology assignment that I had been working on for the better half of two weeks. While this may not seem like much for a university assignment, i approximate that this was actually one of the hardest pieces of work that I've ever had to do. And not only because for most of it I literally didn't have a clue what the fuck I was doing.
Handing in a piece of work always merits such a celebration and although I was pretty much forced to come out tonight, I was in that kind of mind frame that told me I deserved to get absolutely smashed, because I had completed the work that really I should have done weeks ago. In fact I probably shouldn't be celebrating at all but to be honest I haven't done much else that's warranted praise recently and I thought maybe I could get away with it becuase I'm a good guy.
2. The bottom of a bottle has never seemed so homely
The old addage has always dicateted 'you will never find happiness at the bottom of a bottle.' Well what if I was never trying to find happiness in the first place. What if I was simply trying to find a place to escape from the worries and complications of real life by getting royally fucked? Obviously that is the statement of a cold hard alcoholic but never fear, I was never raised to believe such things and I'm not going to start now. Honestly, though, you can't deny that going out with friends and having a few drinks at the pub or a club does very much help tale your mind off things. Especially when these things threaten to consume you and every fibre of your being. I can say without a shadow of a doubt right now that I didn't only get drunk tonight in order to forget some things and make things easier - number one, that'd be taking the easy way out (and I've never been one to take the easy way out - not by choice but through simple poor decision making) - but by temporarily numbing those feelings of sadness or guilt that one feels every now and then for whatever reason, and replacing them with that numb feeling you generally get when you've drunk too much.
1. Everyone else is doing it
I'd be lying if I said that I've never been jealous of drunk people when I'm perfectly sober. Even if I didn't drink at all I think I'd feel a little bitter if everyone around me was getting absolutely rat-arsed without me, and it's no surprise; drinking releases a while range of hormones in the body - arenaline, endorphines etc which make getting drunk absolutely irresistable to everyone; even those who don't perticularly want to. Ordinarily I might consier myself an exception to the rule - I'd like to think that I don't need alcohol to have a good time and that all it takes for a good night out is the right company and a nice amount of good music to listen to, but in reality it really does kill me when everyone else around is drinking like there's no tomorrow, and I don't have the stamina or the money to join them.
There's something about being sober around drunk people that makes the whole thing slightly uncomfortable. A conversation about underwear or carrots might usually be completely normal for a drunken night out, but suddenly you find yourself sober and all of these conversations seem completely irralevant and completely idiotic.
Especially after you realise your mate has set your kitchen on fire and fallen out of a window.
Sunday 17 January 2010
The noble art of parenting 12:16
There's a lot in the news recently about how to be goo parents, featuring childless politicians shouting at mothers for giving their son an ice cream, or asking for fathers to be arrested when they express any type of negative emotion within 700 metres of their child. We'd like to think that, considering the majority of people these days have grown up to be law abiding, sensible adults, that we may know a thing or two about what's best for children when they're growing up. But sometimes parents are oh so wrong...
5. Forcing them into a sport or activity at a young age
All parents want their children to get off to the best start in life by developing a skill or ability early. What they don't realise, is that this 'best start' will result in lost youth, and various personality issues.
Competition has always been about showing who's best in a certain discipline, and there is nothing at all wrong with competition - in fact it has been proven to make us better people. Sometimes though, parents take this idea of competition far too far. A common example of this is American beauty pageants aimed at children. Crazy mothers believe that by parading their daughter up and down a stage whilst similtaneously sabotaging all other entrants is a good thing for them, and will teach them a valuable lesson in life about how sometimes you have to fight to get what you want and how poisening a 10 year old is a perfectly reasonable thing to do in order to achieve.
However, all this pampering and being taught how to crush opponents at such a young age is most definately not a good thing. This kind of thing is most common in America and it's been found that children exposed to this kind of behaviour are affected later in life by a skewed view of the world, and a belief that as long as they have sport in their life, they never have to work. The whole American 'jock' mentality is actually a load of socially and emotionally stunted boys who only know how to pass a ball. On the flip side, your pageant queen daughters will become extreme perfectionists who have developed a deep seated resentment and hared of you, their mother.
4. Teaching them to 'Just be yourself'
Everyone has experienced at least once at school the kid who sits at the back of the class, wearing his tie on his head and making monkey noises while he scratches holes in the desk with a pencil. This is the kid whose mother told him time and time again 'Don't worry what anyone says. Just be yourself and people will love you for who you are.' This is also the kid who gets beaten up in the playground time and time again for bringing a purse to school. The problem here is that to a certain extent it is important to be yourself because obviously we don't want to all be exactly the same. There is a fine line, however, between ignoring the bully who says your nose is too big, and being unable to run from said bully because you're wearing clown shoes and carrying a purse.
It has been shown that children who are exposed to some amount of peer pressure at around 11-13 actually grow to be more socially well adjusted adults. This is because at some points in our life, it is necessary for us to follow the pack and obey the status quo. Humans didn't get where we are today because we all decided to shun the norms. In fact the caveman who decided to walk outside in the middle of a storm because his head didn't have enough lightning in it probably ended up fucking dead.
3. Warning them about strangers
We all had talks in school about 'stranger danger' and to just say no to the man who offers you sweets out the back of his van. It makes logical sense to be wary of people like this, because they're probably mentalists or pedophiles. There reaches a point, however, where this emphasis on watching out for anything out of the ordinary can ruin a child for life. Teaching children to associate anything out of the ordinary with kidnap or murder will inevitably turn them into xenophobic bigots. By adulthood they'll most likely have racist attitudes toward towards any ethnic minority and negative emotions towards literally anyone. Imagine trying to make friends when as a child your mother told you that every new person you meet could potentially rape you.
2. Making them seem like they can do no wrong
In this day of extreme political correctness, it is now frowned upon to act negatively toward your child in any possible way, even when it draws on your walls, pisses on your dog, or stamps on your kitten. Primary school teachers get it worst - they are no longer allowed to write negative comments on reports or school work, only 'suggested improvements' So basically it goes 'Next time, Sammy, you could try not smearing your paper with your own feces. Maybe? Please?'
Now obviously we need to give children credit where credit's due. Even small things like not spilling their drink at dinner, should be praised to encourage behaviour and attitude. When you're praising kids for things their doing wrong, or just really really badly, you make your kid believe it can do whatever the hell it likes and that that's the best thing ever. Unfortunately that's not the case. In sports especially; if you're telling your child that they'll be a pro footballer in no time, when actually they're terrible, then they'll grow up thinking exactly that. Despite unbelievable superiority complexes, they'll probably end up working at Macdonalds, flipping the best god damn burgers you've ever tasted.
1. Letting them know that germs can and will kill them in their sleep
You'd be a naive idiot to believe that we are safe from bacteria or germs in any kind of environment (other than a vacuum) however you'd also be a naive idiot to believe that the presence of these germs will result in certain death for you and your child unless you all live in a plastic bubble and disinfect your eyeballs. An adage my mother says time and time again whilst complaining about these days of political correctness is 'you have to eat a pack of dirt before you die' basically suggesting that getting dirty means having a better life. And as ridiculous as that may sound, there's actually some truth in that.
The numbers of children these days who have some kind of allergy or intolerance are through the roof compared to what they were in our parents generation. One theory of this is that as parents are becoming more and more harsh about what their babies shove in their mouths, the children's body are not growing to develop defenses against certain natural bacteria or germs, and this is resulting in intolerances. This, when you think about it, makes perfect sense. If a babies stomach can stand having worms, dirt, even the odd poo every now and then, think how much the body will have learned to deal with these things later on in life. Not allowing babies to explore with putting things in their mouth can avoid them swallowing or choking on things, there's no denying that, but it also means that their body is not building it's natural defenses as it should.
There's also the fact that if Freud was right, then deny them things to put in their mouth when they're babies, and you're children will grow up to be chronic alcoholics. Have fun dealing with that
5 'good' parenting techniques (that will end up ruining your child)
5. Forcing them into a sport or activity at a young age
All parents want their children to get off to the best start in life by developing a skill or ability early. What they don't realise, is that this 'best start' will result in lost youth, and various personality issues.
Competition has always been about showing who's best in a certain discipline, and there is nothing at all wrong with competition - in fact it has been proven to make us better people. Sometimes though, parents take this idea of competition far too far. A common example of this is American beauty pageants aimed at children. Crazy mothers believe that by parading their daughter up and down a stage whilst similtaneously sabotaging all other entrants is a good thing for them, and will teach them a valuable lesson in life about how sometimes you have to fight to get what you want and how poisening a 10 year old is a perfectly reasonable thing to do in order to achieve.
However, all this pampering and being taught how to crush opponents at such a young age is most definately not a good thing. This kind of thing is most common in America and it's been found that children exposed to this kind of behaviour are affected later in life by a skewed view of the world, and a belief that as long as they have sport in their life, they never have to work. The whole American 'jock' mentality is actually a load of socially and emotionally stunted boys who only know how to pass a ball. On the flip side, your pageant queen daughters will become extreme perfectionists who have developed a deep seated resentment and hared of you, their mother.
4. Teaching them to 'Just be yourself'
Everyone has experienced at least once at school the kid who sits at the back of the class, wearing his tie on his head and making monkey noises while he scratches holes in the desk with a pencil. This is the kid whose mother told him time and time again 'Don't worry what anyone says. Just be yourself and people will love you for who you are.' This is also the kid who gets beaten up in the playground time and time again for bringing a purse to school. The problem here is that to a certain extent it is important to be yourself because obviously we don't want to all be exactly the same. There is a fine line, however, between ignoring the bully who says your nose is too big, and being unable to run from said bully because you're wearing clown shoes and carrying a purse.
It has been shown that children who are exposed to some amount of peer pressure at around 11-13 actually grow to be more socially well adjusted adults. This is because at some points in our life, it is necessary for us to follow the pack and obey the status quo. Humans didn't get where we are today because we all decided to shun the norms. In fact the caveman who decided to walk outside in the middle of a storm because his head didn't have enough lightning in it probably ended up fucking dead.
3. Warning them about strangers
We all had talks in school about 'stranger danger' and to just say no to the man who offers you sweets out the back of his van. It makes logical sense to be wary of people like this, because they're probably mentalists or pedophiles. There reaches a point, however, where this emphasis on watching out for anything out of the ordinary can ruin a child for life. Teaching children to associate anything out of the ordinary with kidnap or murder will inevitably turn them into xenophobic bigots. By adulthood they'll most likely have racist attitudes toward towards any ethnic minority and negative emotions towards literally anyone. Imagine trying to make friends when as a child your mother told you that every new person you meet could potentially rape you.
2. Making them seem like they can do no wrong
In this day of extreme political correctness, it is now frowned upon to act negatively toward your child in any possible way, even when it draws on your walls, pisses on your dog, or stamps on your kitten. Primary school teachers get it worst - they are no longer allowed to write negative comments on reports or school work, only 'suggested improvements' So basically it goes 'Next time, Sammy, you could try not smearing your paper with your own feces. Maybe? Please?'
Now obviously we need to give children credit where credit's due. Even small things like not spilling their drink at dinner, should be praised to encourage behaviour and attitude. When you're praising kids for things their doing wrong, or just really really badly, you make your kid believe it can do whatever the hell it likes and that that's the best thing ever. Unfortunately that's not the case. In sports especially; if you're telling your child that they'll be a pro footballer in no time, when actually they're terrible, then they'll grow up thinking exactly that. Despite unbelievable superiority complexes, they'll probably end up working at Macdonalds, flipping the best god damn burgers you've ever tasted.
1. Letting them know that germs can and will kill them in their sleep
You'd be a naive idiot to believe that we are safe from bacteria or germs in any kind of environment (other than a vacuum) however you'd also be a naive idiot to believe that the presence of these germs will result in certain death for you and your child unless you all live in a plastic bubble and disinfect your eyeballs. An adage my mother says time and time again whilst complaining about these days of political correctness is 'you have to eat a pack of dirt before you die' basically suggesting that getting dirty means having a better life. And as ridiculous as that may sound, there's actually some truth in that.
The numbers of children these days who have some kind of allergy or intolerance are through the roof compared to what they were in our parents generation. One theory of this is that as parents are becoming more and more harsh about what their babies shove in their mouths, the children's body are not growing to develop defenses against certain natural bacteria or germs, and this is resulting in intolerances. This, when you think about it, makes perfect sense. If a babies stomach can stand having worms, dirt, even the odd poo every now and then, think how much the body will have learned to deal with these things later on in life. Not allowing babies to explore with putting things in their mouth can avoid them swallowing or choking on things, there's no denying that, but it also means that their body is not building it's natural defenses as it should.
There's also the fact that if Freud was right, then deny them things to put in their mouth when they're babies, and you're children will grow up to be chronic alcoholics. Have fun dealing with that
Saturday 16 January 2010
The noble art of visual humour 07:20
We're surely all familiar by now with the internet phenomenon of LOLcats - images of adorable cats doing amusing things with amusing captions or cute anthropomorphic misspelling of words. But, sadly, lolcats got old long ago and really, especially considering the internet in general is such a terrible place (4chan says hi) we all need to find new trends and fads to amuse ourselves with. Or we can just laugh at various images people have pasted across the internet.
7 miscellaneous images fads found on the internet (that don't involve cats)
So there we have it - amusing internet images not reliant on cats doing silly things. Don't say i never give you anything.
Friday 15 January 2010
The noble art of copyright 01:36
People have been making coversof famous songs for ages now, and most of them have been unremarkable (the various 400 versions of 'Hallelujah', for example) or just downright awful (My Chemical Romance of Bob Dylan's 'Desolationg row' - dear lord). However, every now and then there comes a cover that is either hilarious in its stupidity, or completely brilliant, and we find ourselves wishing that the original artist had done it like that.
5. Jenny Owen Youngs tries hip hop
Reletively unknown is a woman called Jenny Owen Youngs, who I've quite recently come to really like. She's very much about having fun with her music, and I'm pretty sure she had tons of it when someone suggested she do a cover of Nelly's 'Hot in Herre' - a song that couldn't be further from her usual style
The video is also amazing, although the dancing sasquatch gets a little bit creepy soon enough.
4. Alanis Morisette tries sexy
So we all know Alanis Morisette as a bizzarre, buddhist nutcase who's music has ranged from outside the box to out of her fucking mind. I'll admit I kinda likes her first couple of albums, but things went seriously downhill from there. Now in an attempt at...actually I have no idea why she did this, but I do know it's amazing. Anyone who doubted Alanis could be a sex icon was mistaken. Whether this is a joke or not (I'm pretty sure it is) just the fact she was willing to do this in the first place makes me respect her more. Here is Alanis Morisette and her cover of Fergies 'My Humps'
Honestly that video is hilarious
3. Random Youtuber tries Billy Idol
Anyone who knows the song 'White Wedding' should appreciate this one. In fact even those who have never heard this song before can admit that this video is fantastic. They've basically taken the original video and changed the words to fit literally with the video. It's been tried with a few songs with varying levels of hilarity and depression, but this one is by far the best example of outright taking the piss out of a musician and his music.
2. Mstaken try video response
I can guarentee you've never heard of Mstaken. Well that doesn't matter, because all you need to know is that they decided to take on that legendary song by Lonely Island 'Jizz in my pants'. As a kind of musical comeback, these girls have created a girls version of the song, and I have to say, they've done pretty damn good job.
Extra marks for facial expression that rival even the jizz faces in the original
1. Arctic Monkeys try to keep a straight face
So this is Arctic Monkeys covering Girls Aloud and 'Love Machine' and I have to say, even without the hiliarity that is these guys completely cracking up halfway through this song, I actually think this is a great cover. I never thought this could be possible, but hey, stranger things have happened
5 Hilarious covers (that make good songs better)
5. Jenny Owen Youngs tries hip hop
Reletively unknown is a woman called Jenny Owen Youngs, who I've quite recently come to really like. She's very much about having fun with her music, and I'm pretty sure she had tons of it when someone suggested she do a cover of Nelly's 'Hot in Herre' - a song that couldn't be further from her usual style
The video is also amazing, although the dancing sasquatch gets a little bit creepy soon enough.
4. Alanis Morisette tries sexy
So we all know Alanis Morisette as a bizzarre, buddhist nutcase who's music has ranged from outside the box to out of her fucking mind. I'll admit I kinda likes her first couple of albums, but things went seriously downhill from there. Now in an attempt at...actually I have no idea why she did this, but I do know it's amazing. Anyone who doubted Alanis could be a sex icon was mistaken. Whether this is a joke or not (I'm pretty sure it is) just the fact she was willing to do this in the first place makes me respect her more. Here is Alanis Morisette and her cover of Fergies 'My Humps'
Honestly that video is hilarious
3. Random Youtuber tries Billy Idol
Anyone who knows the song 'White Wedding' should appreciate this one. In fact even those who have never heard this song before can admit that this video is fantastic. They've basically taken the original video and changed the words to fit literally with the video. It's been tried with a few songs with varying levels of hilarity and depression, but this one is by far the best example of outright taking the piss out of a musician and his music.
2. Mstaken try video response
I can guarentee you've never heard of Mstaken. Well that doesn't matter, because all you need to know is that they decided to take on that legendary song by Lonely Island 'Jizz in my pants'. As a kind of musical comeback, these girls have created a girls version of the song, and I have to say, they've done pretty damn good job.
Extra marks for facial expression that rival even the jizz faces in the original
1. Arctic Monkeys try to keep a straight face
So this is Arctic Monkeys covering Girls Aloud and 'Love Machine' and I have to say, even without the hiliarity that is these guys completely cracking up halfway through this song, I actually think this is a great cover. I never thought this could be possible, but hey, stranger things have happened
Thursday 14 January 2010
The noble art of retrospection 13:49
It's a new year, and a new decade so I figured there had to be a post somewhere near the beginning of this blog reminiscing on the past 10 years. We all know a lot of shit happened all over the world since the new millenium, but here's a selection of things that may just keep us going through the next rubbish decade.
10. Celebrating a new milleniumNow new years eve is generally an excuse to get drunk and spend the entire night sitting in a corner looking back over the last year and wanted to commit bloody suicide. It's only when something really special, like, say, witnessing the end of a fucking millenium, when you really start to get excited. People I speak to tend to take it for granted just how lucky we are to be the generation that gets to see in a new millenium. There's only been one other time like that since jesus was born for fuck sake. Get excited people. If we think, each new generation comes around every thirty years or so, a new millenium will not be witnessed by mankind for another 33 generations. That's mental. 33 generations ago our ancestors were invading England with William the Conqueror and throwing shit out of windows. If we imagine how far we've come in the last thousand years; people will probably be celebrating the next millenium on fucking Jupiter.
9. Reality T.V shows gave ugly, talentless people airtime
Reality TV has been around for ages - televised beauty pageants and talent shows popping up every now and then since the 1950s. It wasn't until the beginning of the new millenium that people actually started paying attention. Beginning with Survivor and Pop Idol in 2001, reality TV really kicked off and gave stupid freaks the airtime needed to become smalltime celebrities. Recently winners of such programmes as X Factor and Britiain's Got Talent have decided to showcase people who can actually do shit, rather than giving random nobodies a platform from which they can throw their dignity at passers by. Oh well, at least no one ever decided to throw a bunch of absolute weirdos into a house and watch them 24 hours a day while they slowly destroy all semblence of human behaviour.
Oh wait.
Yet we all love reality TV. I mean come on, what other programme lets you watch Tila Tequila pit men and women against each other in some crazy bitch fight? Or watch girls make tits out of themselves to become Paris Hilton's new BFF? This shit has become part of our lives. Get used to it.
7. The Large Hadron Collider didn't kill us
So in a bid to discover how the world was created (Take that, religion!) scientists thought it'd be a good idea to use a machine that is capable of creating black holes big enough to consume our entire universe in seconds, in the hope of not doing exactly that, and finding instead the particle that created the world. It's good to know that science has our best interests at heart, but apparently we're not dead yet.
6. Michelle Mcmanus topped the charts
Now I know for a fact, there's only one person reading this that will appreciate the woman that really embodies popular music, reality TV and really anything and everything she's involved in. Winner of Pop Idol in a year I can't be bothered to look up, this woman can do no wrong. From singing what is surely the finest pop song ever created, to appearing on You Are What You Eat, she's done it all. And been fucking good about it too.
Oh, and she got herself carved in wood.
5. The internet meant that videos of people having sex and animals doing funny things were just a click away
Seriously, the internet has grown unbelievably in the last ten years. The power of computers notwithstanding, we can now download music whilst simitaneously watching porn, speaking to a friend on MSN, and ordering groceries. There is very nearly nothing you can't do on the internest these days. And of course this is a huge double edged sword (e.g. Rule 34 - if it exists, there's porn of it) but i mean come on we all love looking at pictures of funny cats and videos of people getting hit in the nuts. Human nature now revolves entirely around the internet. Honestly have you ever wanted to know the answer to a question and said, quite seriously 'I'll google it.' The internet is part of ourselves now, and, quite frankly, it's awesome.
4. Facebook has bypassed any laws that make stalking illegal
Facebook is a brilliant site, there's no denying it. It's helped me keep in touch with loads of old friends from school and college, and is a nice way of letting people know what you're doing, checking out what other people are doing, and just downright stalking other people. If I want to know exactly what another person is up to, I just search for their name. If I'm friends with them, I can see evrything they're doing. If I'm not friends with them, I can either see everything they're doing anyway, or if they're a friend of a friend, ask them to tell me everything they're doing. It's ridiculously easy to stalk someone with facebook, especially if they're a trusting person. If someone in the street asks to see you in a bikini, or know exactly what you got up to last night, you'd refuse, and possibly call the police. But on Facebook it's all good
Ok I'm sure you're thinking this isn't a great thing about the new decade at all. But the thing is, it kind of is. Facebook is used now not just as a way of keeping in touch with old friends who you'll probably never see in a social setting ever again, but it's used as an ice breaker, a conversation starter. Before going to uni I got in touch with two people I was going to be living with, and when we met at uni a month or so later, that was the introductions already done. We already knew enough about each other for the initial meeting not to be awkward. And I'm generally a pretty shy person, so that was certainly a plus for me.
3. The Concorde's last flight reminded us how amazing we are
So even I'm a little shocked to see myself talking about aircraft in this post, but a while ago a woman I used to work with told me how her husband, for their 50th wedding anniversary, took her on the Conchord when it was still in business and, thought I've never flown in it myself, I honestly was gobsmacked at what this woman was telling me. In a later discussion with my dad, we both came to the comclusion that we will not ever, at least in his lifetime, see another creation quite like that of the Concorde. One would expect that in the next few decades we will have developed commercial space travel, or other such astounding forms of transport, but in reality the Concorde was simply not practical. For all its grace, beauty, and ball-shattering speed, it was extremely impractical and in the end was seen as a waste of money. Flying from 1969, these things were among the most impressive pieces of machinery ever concieved, let along created. 2003 marked the end of an era, but reminded us that as a technological civilization, we fucking rule.
2. Science makes us proud to be human
Science has always proven to be either dazzlingly brilliant, or unfathomably stupid. People who spend months and months figuring out a formula for the perfect marriage, or spending millions and millions of pounds to tell us some stupid fact that no one cares about. In the last decade science has come out with some of the best and worst stuff imaginable. However in this case, the good far outweighs the bad.
In 2003 earth saw the cloning of Dolly the sheep, and it went mental. This achievement heralded a massive resurgence into genetics, spawning the genome project, as well as advances to stem cell research, new vaccines, and really everything else inbetween. Since then we've come so far in understanding the body and how it works, it's unbelievable. We're finding cures we never thought possible for diseases we didn't even know existed. Advances in technology and research mean that this understanding of people and the world is expanding at an incredible rate. Here's hoping the chemists don't figure out that they could create a virus that could wipe out the entire population at the drop of a hat. Keep that on the downlow.
1. We survived
Well all know that along side these fantastic things that have happened over the last 10 years, there have been some unbelievable tragedies: Hurricanes, Tsunamis, earthquakes, bombings etc. as well as some more close to home; bird flu, swine flu, floodings. So really we should feel bloody good that we're all still here. With so much shit happening right now it's nice to know we've survived another 10 years, and who knows, maybe we'll get through the next 10 too.
That is, unless the Mayans were right.
10 Glorious moments of the last decade (that didn't fuck shit up)
10. Celebrating a new milleniumNow new years eve is generally an excuse to get drunk and spend the entire night sitting in a corner looking back over the last year and wanted to commit bloody suicide. It's only when something really special, like, say, witnessing the end of a fucking millenium, when you really start to get excited. People I speak to tend to take it for granted just how lucky we are to be the generation that gets to see in a new millenium. There's only been one other time like that since jesus was born for fuck sake. Get excited people. If we think, each new generation comes around every thirty years or so, a new millenium will not be witnessed by mankind for another 33 generations. That's mental. 33 generations ago our ancestors were invading England with William the Conqueror and throwing shit out of windows. If we imagine how far we've come in the last thousand years; people will probably be celebrating the next millenium on fucking Jupiter.
9. Reality T.V shows gave ugly, talentless people airtime
Reality TV has been around for ages - televised beauty pageants and talent shows popping up every now and then since the 1950s. It wasn't until the beginning of the new millenium that people actually started paying attention. Beginning with Survivor and Pop Idol in 2001, reality TV really kicked off and gave stupid freaks the airtime needed to become smalltime celebrities. Recently winners of such programmes as X Factor and Britiain's Got Talent have decided to showcase people who can actually do shit, rather than giving random nobodies a platform from which they can throw their dignity at passers by. Oh well, at least no one ever decided to throw a bunch of absolute weirdos into a house and watch them 24 hours a day while they slowly destroy all semblence of human behaviour.
Oh wait.
Yet we all love reality TV. I mean come on, what other programme lets you watch Tila Tequila pit men and women against each other in some crazy bitch fight? Or watch girls make tits out of themselves to become Paris Hilton's new BFF? This shit has become part of our lives. Get used to it.
7. The Large Hadron Collider didn't kill us
So in a bid to discover how the world was created (Take that, religion!) scientists thought it'd be a good idea to use a machine that is capable of creating black holes big enough to consume our entire universe in seconds, in the hope of not doing exactly that, and finding instead the particle that created the world. It's good to know that science has our best interests at heart, but apparently we're not dead yet.
6. Michelle Mcmanus topped the charts
Now I know for a fact, there's only one person reading this that will appreciate the woman that really embodies popular music, reality TV and really anything and everything she's involved in. Winner of Pop Idol in a year I can't be bothered to look up, this woman can do no wrong. From singing what is surely the finest pop song ever created, to appearing on You Are What You Eat, she's done it all. And been fucking good about it too.
Oh, and she got herself carved in wood.
5. The internet meant that videos of people having sex and animals doing funny things were just a click away
Seriously, the internet has grown unbelievably in the last ten years. The power of computers notwithstanding, we can now download music whilst simitaneously watching porn, speaking to a friend on MSN, and ordering groceries. There is very nearly nothing you can't do on the internest these days. And of course this is a huge double edged sword (e.g. Rule 34 - if it exists, there's porn of it) but i mean come on we all love looking at pictures of funny cats and videos of people getting hit in the nuts. Human nature now revolves entirely around the internet. Honestly have you ever wanted to know the answer to a question and said, quite seriously 'I'll google it.' The internet is part of ourselves now, and, quite frankly, it's awesome.
4. Facebook has bypassed any laws that make stalking illegal
Facebook is a brilliant site, there's no denying it. It's helped me keep in touch with loads of old friends from school and college, and is a nice way of letting people know what you're doing, checking out what other people are doing, and just downright stalking other people. If I want to know exactly what another person is up to, I just search for their name. If I'm friends with them, I can see evrything they're doing. If I'm not friends with them, I can either see everything they're doing anyway, or if they're a friend of a friend, ask them to tell me everything they're doing. It's ridiculously easy to stalk someone with facebook, especially if they're a trusting person. If someone in the street asks to see you in a bikini, or know exactly what you got up to last night, you'd refuse, and possibly call the police. But on Facebook it's all good
Ok I'm sure you're thinking this isn't a great thing about the new decade at all. But the thing is, it kind of is. Facebook is used now not just as a way of keeping in touch with old friends who you'll probably never see in a social setting ever again, but it's used as an ice breaker, a conversation starter. Before going to uni I got in touch with two people I was going to be living with, and when we met at uni a month or so later, that was the introductions already done. We already knew enough about each other for the initial meeting not to be awkward. And I'm generally a pretty shy person, so that was certainly a plus for me.
3. The Concorde's last flight reminded us how amazing we are
So even I'm a little shocked to see myself talking about aircraft in this post, but a while ago a woman I used to work with told me how her husband, for their 50th wedding anniversary, took her on the Conchord when it was still in business and, thought I've never flown in it myself, I honestly was gobsmacked at what this woman was telling me. In a later discussion with my dad, we both came to the comclusion that we will not ever, at least in his lifetime, see another creation quite like that of the Concorde. One would expect that in the next few decades we will have developed commercial space travel, or other such astounding forms of transport, but in reality the Concorde was simply not practical. For all its grace, beauty, and ball-shattering speed, it was extremely impractical and in the end was seen as a waste of money. Flying from 1969, these things were among the most impressive pieces of machinery ever concieved, let along created. 2003 marked the end of an era, but reminded us that as a technological civilization, we fucking rule.
2. Science makes us proud to be human
Science has always proven to be either dazzlingly brilliant, or unfathomably stupid. People who spend months and months figuring out a formula for the perfect marriage, or spending millions and millions of pounds to tell us some stupid fact that no one cares about. In the last decade science has come out with some of the best and worst stuff imaginable. However in this case, the good far outweighs the bad.
In 2003 earth saw the cloning of Dolly the sheep, and it went mental. This achievement heralded a massive resurgence into genetics, spawning the genome project, as well as advances to stem cell research, new vaccines, and really everything else inbetween. Since then we've come so far in understanding the body and how it works, it's unbelievable. We're finding cures we never thought possible for diseases we didn't even know existed. Advances in technology and research mean that this understanding of people and the world is expanding at an incredible rate. Here's hoping the chemists don't figure out that they could create a virus that could wipe out the entire population at the drop of a hat. Keep that on the downlow.
1. We survived
Well all know that along side these fantastic things that have happened over the last 10 years, there have been some unbelievable tragedies: Hurricanes, Tsunamis, earthquakes, bombings etc. as well as some more close to home; bird flu, swine flu, floodings. So really we should feel bloody good that we're all still here. With so much shit happening right now it's nice to know we've survived another 10 years, and who knows, maybe we'll get through the next 10 too.
That is, unless the Mayans were right.
The noble art of blogging 07:23
In a sort of 'High Fidelity' style surge of inspiration to start yet another blog, I felt compelled to dedicate this little corner of the internet (I have quite a few now) to compiling lists and opinions on random, probably unnecessary topics. I was just about ready to give up the blogging life altogether after my last failure, however I realised that this is something I don't have to update every day, and while of course I'll attempt some regular updates, I'm not sure I can guarentee this won't go the same way as all my other endevours. So to kick things off, here's my
Top 5 Utter failures of blog attempts.
5. My most recent attempt at a regular blog, 'Something of an End' came around as a task i had set myself to find, listen to, and review a new band every day for however long it took till I slit my wrists. And actually, I didn't do too badly. Whilst only 28 posts may seem a little on the low side, keep in mind i was doing this every single day. It's a wonder I didn't have some kind of mental breakdown. I'm also rather proud of this one because it did lead me to finding some truly excellent new music, and that's always a plus.
4. 'Get Lucky' was my second blog, which really acted as a typical teenage space to rant and moan. Lasting from september '08 to febuary '09 with vaguely regular updates, it didn't do too badly. In fact the only reason I stopped posting was because no one was reading it. Makes me wonder if this one'll do any better but we'll see. Oh and i fucking love Livejournal because of those icons next to every post. I miss them.
3. During the months i was away in France last year, I intended to create a blog that my family and friends could see, documenting my time spent out in the Alps and everything I had got up to. Sounds good on paper, but once I was actually out there, I realised I didn't have the time, energy, or sufficient internet access to keep it going. I've actually deleted it now so no link for you guys, but I had only made two posts in it anyway.
2. Another one I deleted (yeah I decided to clear my life of blogs a while back) this was something i was pursuaded to start by a friend and again was music themed. Every so often I would update detailing new music I downloaded, or musical news I found to be interesting. I'm not actually sure why I stopped posting in this one, I guess I must have had a musical lull or something that kept me from getting new material to post. But anyway that ended just before I decided to start 'Something of an End'
1. And we come to number one, and what was surely the most ridiculous attempt at a blog in the history of, well, ever. I made one post saying how I was gonna try really hard to update regularly, then literally a few days later (and 0 new posts) I forgot my password. Brilliant ending to a brilliant blog story, I say.
So here's to this new addition to my ridiculous blogging collection, and let's pray that I get more readers, followers, friends etc. who will actually read this and I may even last longer than a couple of months. Let's go.
Top 5 Utter failures of blog attempts.
5. My most recent attempt at a regular blog, 'Something of an End' came around as a task i had set myself to find, listen to, and review a new band every day for however long it took till I slit my wrists. And actually, I didn't do too badly. Whilst only 28 posts may seem a little on the low side, keep in mind i was doing this every single day. It's a wonder I didn't have some kind of mental breakdown. I'm also rather proud of this one because it did lead me to finding some truly excellent new music, and that's always a plus.
4. 'Get Lucky' was my second blog, which really acted as a typical teenage space to rant and moan. Lasting from september '08 to febuary '09 with vaguely regular updates, it didn't do too badly. In fact the only reason I stopped posting was because no one was reading it. Makes me wonder if this one'll do any better but we'll see. Oh and i fucking love Livejournal because of those icons next to every post. I miss them.
3. During the months i was away in France last year, I intended to create a blog that my family and friends could see, documenting my time spent out in the Alps and everything I had got up to. Sounds good on paper, but once I was actually out there, I realised I didn't have the time, energy, or sufficient internet access to keep it going. I've actually deleted it now so no link for you guys, but I had only made two posts in it anyway.
2. Another one I deleted (yeah I decided to clear my life of blogs a while back) this was something i was pursuaded to start by a friend and again was music themed. Every so often I would update detailing new music I downloaded, or musical news I found to be interesting. I'm not actually sure why I stopped posting in this one, I guess I must have had a musical lull or something that kept me from getting new material to post. But anyway that ended just before I decided to start 'Something of an End'
1. And we come to number one, and what was surely the most ridiculous attempt at a blog in the history of, well, ever. I made one post saying how I was gonna try really hard to update regularly, then literally a few days later (and 0 new posts) I forgot my password. Brilliant ending to a brilliant blog story, I say.
So here's to this new addition to my ridiculous blogging collection, and let's pray that I get more readers, followers, friends etc. who will actually read this and I may even last longer than a couple of months. Let's go.
